#99 – How I Stopped Trying to Control Their Addiction and Found Peace with Jennifer B
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What happens when someone you love is drinking (or using) and your life starts to fall apart?
In this episode, I sit down with Jennifer for a brutally honest conversation about what it’s like to live with addiction in the family — the fear, the anger, the shame, the hyper-vigilance, the “walking on broken glass”… and the moment you realize: I can’t fix them. I’m the one who needs help too.
Jennifer shares her real healing journey through Al-Anon: why it didn’t click the first time, what finally broke her open, and how the program helped her move from control → caring, interference → love, and chaos → clarity. We walk through the 12 Steps (in plain language) and talk about sponsors, inventory work, boundaries, resentment, grief (including the loss of the dream), and the daily practices that actually create serenity when life is still messy.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Healing Journeys
03:54 We are the ones who are sick
09:08 Finding a Higher Power: Steps Two and Three
14:02 Shame and Guilt in the Context of Addiction
16:33 The Importance of Boundaries
21:44 The Process of Self-Inventory: Steps Four and Five
29:02 The Power of Forgiveness
45:08 Understanding Anger and Its Roots
48:54 The Power of Self-Restraint
56:20 Making Amends: Steps Eight and Nine
01:05:38 The Healing Power of Shared Language
01:16:41 The Spiritual Transformation Through the Steps
This is the episode for you if you’ve ever:
- tried to manage someone else’s substance use
- felt responsible for keeping the peace
- lived in fear of the next blow-up
- carried the quiet shame that nobody understands
- needed boundaries but didn’t know how to hold them
Important: We are not affiliated with Al-Anon, AA, or any 12-step organization. This is simply our lived experience and what helped us.
If this hits home, send it to someone who needs it. And if you’re in the thick of it: you’re not alone.
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Questions – hello@startswithme.ca
Disclaimer
Professional medical care and psychotherapeutic services are not offered on this Youtube channel. It is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professionals for any such condition.
Seeking professional support is encouraged if you think you have an issue and that you want help.
Seeking professional support is encouraged if you think you have an issue and that you want help.



