How do you feel when you wake up & fall asleep?
Once I started treating my mental illnesses, my answer to these questions changed dramatically. I often forget how bad my anxiety, depression and OCD and marijuana use was. Last night I reflected on how far I’ve come. I was getting ready for bed and remembered how horrible I used to feel nearly every night before bed and every morning when I woke up. I enjoyed a moment of deep gratitude for the life I now enjoy. through recovery and living a life of wellness I no longer go to sleep or wake up suffocated by illness.
My untreated illnesses were a result of my thinking, behaviours and poor lifestyle. Most of the negative emotions came from the gap between who I was and who I desperately wanted to be. Day after day, I tortured myself with my actions. This is one of the hardest things for people who haven’t experienced a mental illness to understand. We lose the ability to control our thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. Because of this we live in the torment of how we feel and behave. These things are compounded when we’re questioned and pestered with comments and judgements from others(STIGMA). This is why many people isolate and withdraw from the world. Freeing myself has been beautiful and surely the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. Now I enjoy going to sleep, and I’m excited and motivated to wake up every morning. I no longer have anything to fear, I’m no longer riddled with anxiety, nor am I shackled by depression or held back by obsessive thoughts and behaviours. The gifts of recovery and wellness are countless. getting a good night’s sleep and feeling free in the morning are part of it.
My new life has given me two lovely children, a level of peace and serenity that’s hard to shake and a blossoming relationship with my wife. My perspective on life and the world around me is vastly different today. Thanks to others who helped me find my way, I can get a good night sleep!!
How do you feel when you go to sleep? are you worrying, regretting, or shameful from your day or life? When you wake up, are you scared of facing the day? Are you anxious about anything?
If these things don’t get in your way, how can you help someone else? What can you do to support others and improve their day so these things aren’t barriers for them?
Please share your thoughts or experiences with me, I’d love to hear and learn from them.